So I Called the Psychic Hotline
February 2nd 2008 13:50
Hold on, that's not how it's supposed to work, so I shoot back 'you tell me', she blubbers something back, I wasn't listening, trying to hold back girly giggles. I tell her that there are six things troubling me and I only really want help for one. I tell her that I'm going to throw a dice down and the number it comes up with is the problem I'll discuss. Of course she was about to hang up at this point but she was making money so she tolerated it all.
I tell her based on the number we'll talk about one of my six current problems. I'm not sure exactly how she's supposed to help with her psychic wizzwazz but let's see how it goes. So in this order they were:
1) My life feels empty and I'm looking for spiritual fulfillment
2) I think my best friend is gay and is hitting on me, is this true?
3) I'm trying to communicate with my dead hamster
4) Back during when I was 16 I got really drunk, I think I had sex with this girl I had a crush on, I can't remember and would like to know if I did do the deed and also if doing it actually ruined my chance at finding love
5) There's this person I hate whom I want to mentally disturb using psychic energy
6) I want to know if I can communciate with my long dead ancestors.
(for the record one of these six is actually true, the rest are outright falsifications).
So that's 6 points, lookslike a lot eh? Well see this is what happens next, I roll the die and say 'it landed on two' (it had actually landed on three). She fumbles a little and says something like 'so which one was that', I laugh and reply in an acted expression, 'wow! you can't see thirty seconds into the past yet you expect me to believe you can see thirty years into the future?'.
With that I hung up.
After all that crud I was the real sucker, she made her money, but at least she felt insulted.
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